fuckerrrrr [entries|friends|calendar] Alissa in Chains [ website | steal my myspace face :) ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[29 Nov 2007|04:44pm] 2001? 2007 now is that a mind trip or what, alissa and vibeke back at it 6 years later. 1 comment|post comment

hello livejournal [18 Oct 2007|09:36pm] [ mood | full/nervous. ] [ music | regina spektor - carbon monoxide ] WOW it has been so long since I have visited this oh so glorious website. this is me lately: me and my lover.<3<3<3 me and my BFF nicholassss.<3 me and my BFF ashleyyy.<3 me one a normal basis. (taken today) A lot has happened. I've been through a few detox's and one rehab. Finally I am clean and have been for one month and twelve days. This spring I will hopefully be attending Green Mountain College, if all goes as planned, majoring in fine arts. Although i am majorly depressed a good amount of the time, i am learning to live life on life's terms and not run to the needle as soon as I am upset. it seems like i have become a lot more enjoyable to be friendly with. I want to apologize if i have hurt anybody reading this over the past couple years. I have had a tough run, and although it is not over yet I truely do apologize, it was not me it was the drug. I might start updating more often. depends on the outcome of this post. i feel weird, everyone probably hates me. -alissa 6 comments|post comment

apathy [05 Feb 2007|12:43pm] Apathy is a phsycological term for a state of indifference — where an individual is unresponsive or "indifferent" to aspects of emotional, social, or physical life. from now on, nothing will graze me. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't fucking care. I need nobody. Nobody needs me. post comment

I NEED OPINIONS... [31 Jan 2007|08:29pm] [ music | pantera ] my birthday is coming up and i need help i am thinking about starting my right sleeve but i am not sure whether i want black and white, or color. right now i am leaning towards black and white but what do you all think? i am thinking about starting with either 1. a bettie page portrait or 2. this: please let me know what you think, i am the most indecisive person ever as most of you know. 1 comment|post comment

life lately; [02 Jan 2007|05:51pm] [ music | fiona apple ] thank you to anyone and everyone who's been helping me out as of today i A. dont want to die B. am over 90 pounds and C. have not been entirely self destructive in my actions thank you. i love you. 1 comment|post comment

this is just for myself.... [13 Dec 2006|06:45pm] [ music | jedi mind tricks ] i relate too easily, need these... I know that times were hard I know that you've been feelin' down If you only knew how I'm feelin' for you If I could take your pain I wish that I could wash it all away If you only knew how i'm feelin' Mommy I'm sorry if my first letter made you cry To be honest with you I don't think that I wanna die Sometimes I feel like that I'm cancerous in others lives Thats prolley why I drink at night and sleep till 4 or 5 It's kinda hard walking through life with my distorted eyes When I was younger I was stupid and I thought I thrived I thought alot about everything I said in the letter And questioned whether or not if I was dead you'd be better You think my shorty would be happy if I never met her It's too late now mommy i could never forget her Could never forget how she told me to love Cuz my father and my grandmother is always above It's glory above you know that daddy taught me to thug And everytime we was with nanny she'd bombard me with hugs[damn] I MISS 'EM mommy and it's hard to believe That i've grown and I don't understand that why did they leave (Better to die and sleep then never wake and sleep Then linger on and dare to live when your souls life is gone) You've been runnin' around for so long You've been hurting yourself too much You keep messin' around with darkness You're the one whose losin x2 Mommy I think Im'a that try to stick around a while I got a niece and my nephews they need me around a while I think they need me cuz they hittin that age And they aint tryin to speak to Lenny cuz they spittin' they rage And mommy speakin of Lenny I think my brother need me And we Italian so you know my mother loved to feed me And it's the little things you do for me that make it worth it Like when I play a joint that we did and you say it's perfect And when Jay got knocked you knew that I was hurt You told me to my heart in a song and it worked I promised him I'd be there when he got out the bing You aint raised me to be a liar ma' thats not my thing I told him that I'd hold him down the whole time that he gone they kept him locked in a cage but thats cool cuz hes strong so mommy keep that first letter I wrote you on the low I think I wanna stay alive and see if I can grow You've been runnin' around for so long You've been hurting yourself too much You keep messin' around with darkness You're the one whose losing ...you have power and money,but you are mortal,you know you can not escape death,but immortality can be obtained,the legend is always the same, if others have succeeded conquering death why must we accept it,I know where immortals live and how to obtain there secret... I know that times were hard I know that you've been feelin' down If you only knew how im feelin' for you If I could take your pain I wish that I could wash it all away If you only knew how i'm feelin' post comment

[10 Dec 2006|04:49am] can stop drinkking, thing s are qactuwlly going people dont even read this _ _ _.................................... 7 comments|post comment

[09 Dec 2006|11:24am] [ music | amon amarth ] first of all, penguins are the best animals. anyways, my new computer is estimated to be here on the 18th then you probably won't hear from me considering i am buying every computer game i've ever wanted can't wait. things are actually ok right now. but who knows what even an hour will bring... 1 comment|post comment

help? [07 Dec 2006|06:26pm] I need to find somewhere or someone who could help me draw out my sleeve. if anyone has any recommendations they would be appreciate i cant wait for post comment

[03 Dec 2006|10:04pm] What I AM getting for Christmas; 1. beginners plus tattoo kit 2. ink 3. almost skin 4. money 5. alienware lap top What i WANT for Christmas; 1 comment|post comment

[30 Nov 2006|08:44pm] i fall, on skinned knees i crawl... 2 comments|post comment

New tattoo [20 Nov 2006|08:59pm] New tattoo more painful than i imagined apparently one of the most painful spots to get a tattoo. 11/20/06 i always love you nick, you are forever with me until we are together again post comment

[15 Nov 2006|11:35am] i need a haircut anyone have any ideas/pictures i think i want bangs back post comment

alone [28 Oct 2006|11:38am] [ mood | numb ] [ music | soundgarden ] happy anniversary nicholas bradford fowler. i love you and miss you more than life itself. i just want to be with you. i want to wake up from this nightmare. post comment

these days [02 Oct 2006|12:56pm] I want you to scrape me from the walls And go crazy like you've made me 1 comment|post comment

I miss [21 Sep 2006|11:07pm] I still can't grasp what has happened. 4 comments|post comment

i miss [20 Sep 2006|08:03pm] :/ 3 comments|post comment

R.I.P. [18 Sep 2006|06:34pm] Rest In Peace Nicholas Bradford Fowler My best friend, my soulmate, my pickle. I will be seeing you soon, somehow, somewhere... Nobody knows where you are, how near or how far. Shine on your crazy diamond. Pile on many more layers and I'll be joining you there. Shine on you crazy diamond. And we'll bask in the shadow of yesterday's triupmh, and sail on the steel breeze... 7 comments|post comment

[11 Sep 2006|12:52pm] [ music | dresden dolls ] what books should i read? 4 comments|post comment

[06 Sep 2006|11:14am] i dropped my digital photography class, i will pick it up in january. I need to get a job. 1 comment|post comment

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